because its the year that something changes
Eric Peters has lots of songs, but there is one specific one that has been on my mind lately. This particular one was mine and Zach’s anthem at the end of 2013, the year that brought trauma, but the year that also sprung hope. Its chorus begins with “Ha Ha, to the old year,” though if I used my “workout words” Ha Ha would be traded out for something far less flattering. So, as to not shock my mother’s ears, or any of the others who haven’t had the opportunity to hear me speak in the midst of the anger sparked by trauma and that can still rear it’s ugly head at times, we’ll just leave it at Ha Ha.
I had been planning to reshare that original post, written in what seems like a lifetime ago, as we left 2020 behind, because don’t we all want to give this year a big HA HA. Planned to, that is, until I stood in the kitchen cleaning away the bits of the holidays and let the album shift its way to the next song and these words instead motivated my heart.
This is the year when laughter douses charred and burnt-out dreams
This is the year when wrens return to nest in storm-blown trees.
Is this the year of relocation from boughs of old despair?
This is the year to perch on hope’s repair.
That last line, y’all, you know I love it! Perch on hope’s repair. A better place to perch does not and will never exist. Hope is the place to be, because, I’ll say it again, there is always hope. I want to forever place myself in the hands of the one who can do the fixing. Repair it Lord, all of it, for your good pleasure.
Eric’s song, The New Year, goes on to say,
I was pale and weary sad tired of ghost debates
A slave to voices old and vile, bitter bones in the grave
But this is the year, it’s the year that something changes
In the bible, the number 7 holds significance, and one thing it symbolizes is a clean slate, a starting over. In the 7th year debts were cancelled, taken land was returned, starting over was allowed, beginning again was the gift. Literally, and figuratively, 2020 was my 7th year. So now, with my story told, my mind is cleared, not still holding on to something left unsaid, but free to focus on the stories that will come next. So what stories are those, what is my something that changes. For me it’s this, it’s here, it’s my words.
I once thought I should only write when I had something to say. Crafted already in my mind, sitting and hammering on the keys would be quick, because of the ideas and phrases already spinning around and placing themselves together needing only to be released on to pen and paper, or buttons and flat screen. Maybe that was once the case, but does anything really ever stay the same except for the constancy of God?
In my here and now, my brain is scattered, unable to ever think full sentences, let alone an entire well thought out theme, due to the immense need of it to focus constantly on one thing after the other. Nothing, it feels like, gets attention unless it 1) is the next thing on the list, or 2) screams louder than anything else. Though I am definitely a to-do list girl, neither of these are optimal.
Recently I was asked what my biggest inspirations were for my writing. My answer was two things, scripture and life. While those are broad topics, the narrower view is simply what Truths need to speak into my daily life and the life around me AND how does my life and the life around me demonstrate Truth. I simply do not have the capacity at this time to write about either of this without focus, without quieting my mind to everything else, without zooming in in a moment to what is really happening, what I am seeing, how is HE being seen.
Once upon a time, Happy Wednesdays started because it was the only day I could escape (for lack of a better word) my stay at home momness to have quiet thoughts. These mornings often started with not knowing what words would appear because no time had been available to even have a thought outside of keeping three blonde boys alive and loved. But through His constant grace and mercy, words always did. Sometimes lots, sometimes little, but always beneficial to me and, for reasons I am still astounded by, beneficial to others as well.
And right now, it is the writing that I need, more than ever, because it is what brings me back to Him. It is what opens my mind to see what He has done, what He is doing, what He has promised He will do. His faithfulness shines through again and again, every time I sit to say anything, because in the end its not me, its God lovingly allowing me to be used. Reminding me that though he doesn’t need His people, we need Him, and because of His love for us, using our gifts is one way He fulfills that need, both for ourselves and others, because we can see we are used. It all makes such a beautiful circle.
So here is to the new year, the year something changes. My goal is to have 52 Happy Wednesdays. I’ve never done it before, I still don’t know if I can. Some may be short, some may be long, some may be drenched with words outside of myself, and some may be stumbled through, but I pray they will still be.
So point number one of today is to just share that. 52 Wednesdays in 2021. Point number 2 is to ask you what is making you pale and weary sad? What voices, old and vile, are you still hearing in your ears? If you made this year your 7th year, what would your clean slate look like? Your new beginning? If you perch on hope, what is your greatest need of repair? Maybe you already know, or maybe, like me, your brain is so scattered you need to sit, to focus, to think, not even sure of what will come out but trusting that the Spirit’s still small voice will be there to answer when you do.
I know it seems cliché to share this in early January, but this thought is valuable whether you read this now, months from now, because regardless of the calendar, any day can begin a new year, because every day He is making us new, some days we just need to focus more to see it.
I’m praying for you friend, pray for me.
oh oh oh its a new year
oh oh oh its a brand new light
oh oh oh can you believe it?
It’s the skies that we dream of.
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