because it's not that you're different, it's that you've been set apart for a unique purpose

There is beauty and hard in every stage of parenting.  When you have littles, the beautiful that comes with the new life that grows and develops so quickly is balanced with exhaustion and sometimes loneliness as you work to fill their basic needs, love them well, and on some days just keep them alive.  As they grow and become taller versions of who they once were the beautiful comes in seeing their talents, minds, and hearts grow and mature, the hard comes in helping them understand all the emotions they have as they understand the world better and begin to try and see their place in it, while you pray you don't screw them up too much.

I don't know what it is about the sun going down, but like the exhibits in Night at the Museum, that is when my oldest comes alive.  Or at least when his questions do.  There's something about the end of the day drawing near and the list of responsibilities accomplished that give his mind permission to begin to think in overtime, or maybe to finally concentrate on the thoughts that are swimming around.

Maybe I should feel guilty that I was fast asleep when the conversation took place, but we knew from the beginning of this parenting journey that if any meaningful conversation was needed in the late PM hours, my husband was mostly likely going to need to take care of it.  This Mama's brain has an automatic shut off time, and any words attempted after it are very hard to comprehend.

Either way, the next day, I heard the transcript of what took place and my first thought was oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry that part of my DNA crept into your precious soul, but the next was we need to make sure he knows that his likes, his dislikes, his desires, his differences, all of it, make him the exact being God needed in this world.

The conversation, which stemmed from innocent comments from brothers and a friend about video games, sent this boys brain into a flurry of self doubt.  Why doesn't he like video games as much as others, if he likes them at all will he get addicted, is it ok to still like Legos, both building them and playing with them.  Why do I seem different?  What is wrong with me?

There was much thankfulness that this time it was still about innocent subjects, but that will not always be the case.  The foundation has been built with legos, but as time goes by different topics will initiate similar conversations.  How do I know this, because it still does in my life, and I'd bet the same is for you.

This scenario is not limited to tweenagers, its a struggle for us all.  We look around, compare ourselves to others, and think I'm different, why is that, what is wrong with me?

But like the lesson you learn when turning on our phone camera and it's accidentally been put in selfie mode, the angle from which you look at something makes a HUGE difference.

You see, when we come to the conclusion as above it is because we have asked the wrong questions.  Stop looking down, and start looking up.  Get a different angle, and ask yourself this instead...I'm different, why is that, what does God want for me.

You have been set apart as holy to the Lord your God, and he has chosen you from all the nations of the earth to be his own special treasure. Deuteronomy 14:2

Because of Christ you are set apart, holy, and with that comes the knowledge that as Paul says in Galatians that God, who had set me apart before I was even born, and who called me by his grace, is pleased.

It's hard when something you do seems different, when something you think seems different, if the way you look seems different, but if you are in Christ, if His Spirit is in you, then it's not that you're different, it's that you are set apart.  You are his own special treasure, created for a unique purpose, and you are exactly what He needed in this world.  You might now see it now, you might not fully understand it now, but you can begin to trust it now.  Trust in what was created for you before the creation of the world, and trust that when you are His, He is pleased.

I pray that the question you will now ask is what does God want for me, instead of what is wrong with me, because I promise, He truly does know best.  Pray for me.