because we have been entrusted

Stayed.  Abide.  Hope.  Three words among many that have been integral in my walk with the Lord.  Leaders in changing the inner dispositions I hold to sanctify me, make me more Christlike.  I have found another word that makes my mind spin in the best of ways and makes my heart overflow with love for the God who placed it there to begin with.  But before I tell you the word, let me tell you how it came to be.

I envy those with confidence and determination, confidence and determination that is unwavering--or so it seems from the outside.  My middle has it.  That unwavering determination that YES I can do this, I will do this, this is what I am meant to do.  This child is the one who with having no acting or performing experience at all told us he was not only trying out for the lead in his school musical, but would get the lead in his school musical.  Even with our encouraging, or so we thought, comments about how any role is an honor and it will be fun no matter what, he never backed down.  Months later tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched this boy in his role of Aladdin and not just because he shined on that stage, but because there before me was tangible evidence of determination lived out.

I can begin with determination.  I can go forth in what I have been asked to do, but I can also give up within the first few days or weeks when the assurance starts to fade, when the results have not yet come.  If I was to stop and think through the reasoning of why, which let´s face it, is basically my favorite thing to do in every scenario I face or see another facing, it would be noticed that the diminished determination has not been produced by impatience of lack of progress but rather by second-guessing, by assuming quite quickly that I heard wrong and that must be why ¨nothing¨ is happening.  (Just FYI, with God something is ALWAYS happening)

When these moments come, when that which I was so determined to begin begins to have a shadow of doubt cast over it instead the temptation comes to do a few different things.  The first is to stop completely and pretend I never started.  The next is to move on to a different goal leaving that one unfinished.  The third is to power through, but of my own strength, which is almost always a terrible idea.

The last of these actions is the inspiration for this particular concept we are thinking through today.

The stories of determination in the bible leave me full of awe.  When we read about Abraham leaving his homeland with all his people and possessions to go after a land that God promises him we see determination.  When we read about Noah spending years building a gigantic boat, collecting animals, and the sitting in that boat for a full 7 days before rain even shows up we see determination.  When David steps up against the giant, when Ezra tells us of God´s people coming back after 70 years of exile on a mission to rebuild the temple, when the 12 leave their nets, and their tax collecting, and other occupations to follow Jesus, when Paul writes letter upon letter upon letter to the church, we see determination.

But then the realization came that when we see determination, we are seeing the wrong thing.  We are looking at the secular, at the person and their skill, or at us and our own skill,  instead of at the God who created, the Son who saved and the Spirit who guides.  Similar to the lesson of realizing it´s not a small world, He´s just a big God , it is not determination we should see, it is obedience to a call.  In each of these stories we are seeing living out in faith that with which they have been entrusted.

It was early December, I had not written in over a month, I hadn´t slept well in pretty much the same amount of time, I was overwhelmed with attempting to balance Christmas activities for my boys like we had always done while also planning the same for a job I had never held before while I kept up with school work I had never done before all the while remembering the book project I so desperately want to make a reality but have placed to the side because I just don´t know how to get it all done.  Tears of exhaustion and frustration were frequently on the brink.  But what fell instead were tears of thankfulness because as I spread mod podge over the 18 white plates holding a green handprint each God reminded me that these little hands have been entrusted to me.  And so have my three blond babies.  And so has the desire to become a therapist to walk through the hard of life with another.  And so has the book that will bring others Hope by understanding who Hope is.

In the book of 1 Timothy, 6:20 Paul is writing to encourage his young protege and brother in Christ to guard that which has been entrusted to you.  In Timothy´s case, well in all our cases, that refers to the Gospel, the message of Jesus.  For Timothy that required him to help lead those in Ephesus, but being different people created in different times for different purposes, that Gospel with which we are entrusted, though the same for all, will be applied in a variety of ways to a variety of people all for the same purpose, to bring glory to our God.

I have been entrusted.  Me, in all my doubts and failings and forgetfulness and quitting and trying on my own so often without abiding in Him.  I have been entrusted.  Because of God´s great love for me, because of His desire to draw us to Him and His Kingdom work.  Because He believes in me much more than I will ever believe in myself, I have been entrusted.

Friends, God in all His creativity and all His perfect planning has entrusted us each with something, many things, that may stay the same for the long haul or may change with passing seasons, but all of which should be used to make Him known whether loudly through preaching and teaching or softly through intimate relationship and loving actions that make others ask what is it about you that is different?

I am praying for you today that first you may stop and recognize that with which you in perfect design and proof of significance to your God have been entrusted, second that it is not by your determination, but by His will that it will be done, and finally that we may each have the faith to continue in it and have courage that though our eyes may not see the results He is always working and will do what He desires to be done.  Pray for me.

For anyone who follows what I write, I realize that the first statement might seem to be in direction opposition to a previous post about being afraid to stop (when you can read here).  Every scenario is different and each will produce an action that is obedient and an action that is not and it will not look the same in every case even for the same person.  We are sinful and needy individuals who constantly contradict ourselves, struggle with opposing feelings, and pendulum swing from one emotion to the other depending on the day, the people involved, or the circumstance.  It is for these reasons that I will never say to another to follow your heart, your heart commanded by yourself cannot be trusted.  The One to follow is the Spirit indwelling within your heart who is constantly acting to turn it over, soften it, dig out what is not of Christ and fill it with what is.  Changing our inner dispositions.